Reptile Trouble!
by L1701E
Summary: Chapter 7 up! Complete! Kid Razor's latest adventure, now introducing Dr. Reptile! RR Please! Suggestions needed badly!
1. Changes!

Reptile Trouble!

**Hey, true believers, as Stan "The Man" Lee would say! Finally, a new story starring our fearless hero, the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll, the Juke Box Hero, the Heavy Metal Heartbreaker, the one and only, Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor! This time, we introduce another supervillain in Kid Razor's Rogues Gallery, the evil Dr. Reptile! Enjoy this story, folks! It has thrills, chills, and laughs galore!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Marvel Comics except Kid Razor, the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers, and Dr. Reptile.**

Chapter 1: Changes! 

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(Cleveland, Ohio)

"And another one bites the dust!" Kid Razor laughed as Cleveland's Finest carted away a thief in the paddy wagon. The Ultimate Rockstar hefted up a pile of guitars. The thief was trying to raid a music store, stealing all the guitars in the place! The Fearless One held the guitars carefully, and handed them back to the grateful owner. 

"Thank you, Kid Razor!" The owner smiled. "And way to whoop Tusk!"

"No problem." Razor grinned. "He was easy." A police car, sirens blaring, rolled up to the rocker. Razor raised a blond eyebrow. 

"Here we go." He laughed as he saw Sgt. Polanski leave the car. Razor noticed his partner: A pretty young woman with short blond hair, cut a half-inch above her shoulders. "Hey Pulaski! Who's the hottie?"

"Sgt. Amanda Briscoe." She said. "Polanski wants to arrest you again?" 

"Well, baby, _you_ can take the Kid of Rock in anytime." Razor pulled a badge out of his jacket. "I am a certified agent for the FBI." 

"You're a federal agent?" Polanski blinked.

"Kind of. I'm a member of the Female Body Inspectors." Razor grinned. Briscoe laughed and Polanski groaned.

"I should've known." Polanski grumbled.

"Sorry Polanski. Can't play now, I still got crimes to bust up." Razor grinned. He winked at a laughing Briscoe, and flew off into the air. 

"I _hate_ that guy." Polanski muttered as he got back into his car.

"I think he's alright." Briscoe smiled. "A bit crude, but alright." 

"He's a cocky little punk with superpowers, that's what he is." Polanski growled. "How does he do this?" He grabbed his coffee and sipped it. His radio clicked on. 

"_POLANSKI!!!!!!__ BRISCOE!!!!"_ A voice roared on the other end. Briscoe yelped and Polanski dropped his coffee on himself. 

  
"Not AGAIN!" 

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(Hellfire Club Building, New York City)

"Chalk up another victory for Kid Razor!" Selene said with delight as she watched Razor fly off on her crystal ball. "However, that _was_ a bit unfair. He was only a mortal burglar and you were a super-powered rock musician. Oh, well. Spider-Man deals with such _minor_ threats as well." The sorceress had grown rather fond of Razor. His power made him extremely attractive to her, and she wanted that power for herself. "Ah well, knowing you Razor, a new opponent, one more…worthy will arise. All I have to do is wait. Once I learn all I need about you, I can strike and take that guitar from you." 

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(A laboratory, Cleveland) 

A scientist named Dr. Gary Turnbull looked at a beaker containing some white liquid. Dr. Turnbull was the world's foremost reptile expert and a geneticist. He was in his mid-thirties, with short brown hair, and green eyes. He was clad in a green shirt with brown slacks and a white lab coat. Recently, he was approached by the military to work on a project to create a super-powered version of Captain America.

_Only appropriate they use reptile DNA for this project._ The scientist smiled to himself. _Reptiles have been around for millions of years. Their ancestors, the dinosaurs, were powerful beasts who ruled the Earth. Modern day reptiles are capable of numerous feats. The gecko can cling to walls like a spider. The chameleon can change color to make himself invisible. The crocodile has a bite powerful enough to crush bone. The tortoise's shell makes him nature's tank. Some lizards can even regenerate lost limbs!  Ah, yes. The reptile world is full of possible superpowers._

"But will they approve of a super-soldier that can stick to walls and change color?" Dr. Turnbull thought out loud to himself. He looked at his cages. One wall of his lab was covered in large cages. In them were various reptiles, lifelong fascinations for Dr. Turnbull. Ever since he was a boy, the doctor loved snakes, geckos, and various other cold-blooded critters. He smiled as he looked at his formula in the beaker. "I did it! I can't believe I did it!" He laughed happily. "I created a serum that'll allow humans to do things any member of the reptile family can do!" He danced around happily. "Hey, guys!" He whooped to his pets. "I did it! Yeah! Alright! Go Gary! Yeah!" He failed to notice he had accidentally knocked over a bottle on a shelf. It spilled its contents into another bottle. The two chemicals inside started bubbling, causing the bottle to shake and make a hissing sound. "Huh?" Dr. Turnbull heard the hissing, and he slowly walked to the shaking bottle. "What?"

**_KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

The bottle exploded, knocking the screaming scientist into a wall. The explosion caused him to be doused in various chemicals, including the serum he created. 

"Uhnnnnnnn…uh…" He slipped out of consciousness.

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(An alley in Cleveland, Ohio)

Kid Razor landed in an alley, and in a flash of light, he transformed back into Bobby Parkins. Ronnie Rocker appeared.

"Hey Bobby. Slow day, huh?" 

"Yup." Bobby sighed. "Ever since Tusk, things have been slow. Does Spidey have days like this?" Bobby wondered. Ronnie shrugged. 

"I dunno. Don't know the guy personally. Hey listen, don't you have to meet the guys?" Ronnie laughed.

"Yeah. Wendy's trying to set me up on a blind date." Bobby groaned. Ronnie raised an eyebrow. "I don't feel comfortable doing this blind date stuff. You never know who you'll end up with."

"Like that show. Sometimes, something funny may happen." Ronnie smirked. 

"Or something disastrous may happen." Bobby groaned. "Well, better get going. Rip's helping me move my stuff into my new dorm." 

Well, looks like some changes are occurring! What'll happen to Dr. Turnbull? How will Bobby's blind date go? Who will he end up with? Can he adjust to dorm life? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	2. Movin' In!

Reptile Trouble!

To Wizard1: Yeah, Bobby has. Well, it doesn't always go bad. It ain't Jubilee, pal. She wants Razor, not Bobby. Yeah, Selene won't trap Ronnie till later. Knowing her, she keeps some kind of tabs on what all the major heroes are doing. 

To animeluvr1: I think reptiles hold some remote relation. I don't think Bobby's date will be Sgt. Briscoe.  

To Red Witch: COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 2: Movin' In!

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(Bobby's new dorm)

"Wow. This place is really spacious. Thanks for helping me move in guys." Bobby said. His guitar was still strapped to his back. He was placing an AC/DC poster on the wall. 

"No problem, Bobby." Jubilee smiled. She was helping paint the wall. 

"Over here!" Tommy snapped.

"No, here!" Alex yelled. The Baines Brothers were moving a dresser. They were arguing over where it should be put. Funny enough, the spots they suggested were practically _next_ to each other!

"Here looks better!" 

"It's not feng shui, stupid!" 

"I don't believe in that place-equals-harmony-with-the-universe garbage, you moron!" 

"It works! Donald Trump uses it and look at **him!**" 

"Bobby ain't Donald Trump, you retarded half-minded sick monkey!" 

"Yeah well, you're an idiot and mom still dresses you!" 

"That's it!" Tommy forced down the dresser, on Alex's foot! Tommy then attacked a howling Alex. Jubilee blasted them both with her fireworks, making them scream and cover their eyes.

"You morons nearly broke that thing!" Jubilee snapped. 

"He nearly broke my foot!" Alex whined. 

"He nearly broke my nose!" Tommy whined also.

"Yeah, you didn't need to nearly break our eyes, you goofy X-Clown!" Alex snapped.

"I wonder how Wolverine dealt with you?!" Tommy grumbled. An annoyed Jubilee punched them both out.

"Wolverine's like a father to me, you guys. You should have more respect." Jubilee warned. 

"Maybe you two should go out and do something." Danny "Fingers" Carrington sighed. He was helping put away the dishes. 

"Hey, maybe after this you should have a dorm-warming party." Rip grinned. He was unrolling some carpet.

"I don't really know anybody here besides you guys." Bobby sighed. 

"Oh relax, Bobby-boy." Jubilee grinned, throwing her arm around his shoulder. "I'm sure with _my_ social skills, I'll get a lot of people here! Bobster, your dorm will be Par-tay Central!" She sighed happily. "Now to make things perfect, I wish my hunky Kid Razor were here." Bobby gulped. 

_Oh that's great! That's just great!_ Bobby mentally sighed. _Jubilee absolutely **adores** me as Kid Razor! Oh, man…_Bobby scratched his head as Jubilee let him go and went to help Wendy. _And Wendy once told me she has some very…interesting dreams about her and Razor. Oh man, now what do I do?_

"Hey Bob, you gonna help us?" Fingers pulled Bobby back to the real world, holding up a box. Bobby shook his head quickly. "This **is** your dorm."

"Uh yeah, sure. Sorry." Bobby chuckled nervously as he took the box. "I'll unpack these and put them away." 

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(A laboratory, Cleveland)

"Uhhhhhhnh…" Dr. Gary Turnbull staggered to his feet and clutching his head. "Oh man, what hit me?" He staggered up to a mirror. "Aw man…my head is killing me…" He looked down at himself. "Aw man, I'm soaked! And the lab is a mess!" He sighed. "Aw well, I guess I'll have to call the cleaning lady later and uhn…uh…AHHHHHH!!!!!" Dr. Turnbull felt an intense pain course through his body. He clutched his sides and screamed as an incredible transformation took place in front of his reptilian pets. His skin turned from flesh to green scales. His eyes glowed a bright yellow. His body started growing in muscle and his bones changed. His lab coat ripped open in back as a shell manifested. His pants ripped in back as a spiny iguana-esque tail popped out. His teeth sharpened and his jaws grew outward, forming an alligator-esque muzzle. His fingernails grew and sharpened into powerful claws. His lab coat and shirt were tattered by his muscular body. His brown hair grew out to shoulder-length. The creature roared, punched out the mirror, and busted through the wall with a shoulder tackle. 

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(Cleveland, Ohio)

"Oh God, I'm so nervous." Bobby paced up and down his newly-decorated living room.

"Will you stop that, man?" Alex grumbled. "You're starting to freak _me_ out!" 

"Everything freaks you out." Tommy snickered. Alex turned to his younger brother, raising a fist. 

"Why I oughta-?"

"Shut up!" Jubilee snapped, smashing both brothers upside the head with a baseball bat. God knows what else she kept in that trenchcoat.

"Ow!" The Baines Brothers whimpered.

"If you had a bat in there, why didn't you use it to keep Laurel and Hardy over there in line before?" Fingers scratched his head.

"I wanted to surprise them." Jubilee grinned. She looked at her watch. "Hey, Bob! Your date should be coming by any second now! Oh boy, I'm so excited!" 

"Here we go." Rip grinned. He and Wendy clinked together their soda cans. A knock was heard on the door. Bobby nervously opened it.

"Uhm, are you Bobby Parkins?" The voice, obviously a girl's, asked on the other side. Bobby looked at the girl: A pretty college girl with long brown hair with red tips, clad in a Cleveland University t-shirt and jeans. Her ears were pierced, revealing small gold rings.   

Well, things are about to pick up! Who is this girl? What happened to the doctor? What madness will happen next? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	3. Reptile Attack, Part 1!

**Reptile Trouble!**

To Wizard1: Yes, that girl is Bobby's blind date! Well, the Baines Brothers aren't exactly the sharpest tools in the shed at times. Yup, Dr. Reptile is born! Enjoy the new chapter! And when does chapter 6 of "Karaoke Dance Party" Come up? I want to read it!

To Metal Dragon1: Yeah, the doc's no beauty queen. Actually, Bobby has the blind date, not Tommy. Tommy gets slapped by girls all the time. When does the new chapter of "Take the Long Way Home" come up? I CAN'T WAIT!!

To animeluvr1: Glad you like my stories. Oh yeah, I thought your reviews of "Birth of a Juke Box Hero" were a little harsh. Kid Razor's a humorous superhero, insanity will happen in Cleveland. And when does the new chapter of 'Bittersweet' come up?

**In the last issue of "Reptile Trouble":** Bobby Parkins, secretly the fearless superpowered rock musician known as Kid Razor, was moving into his new dorm room, with help from his friends, Jubilee and the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers. The usual insanity happened with Alex and Tommy arguing and Jubilee beating them up. Meanwhile, noted reptile expert Dr. Gary Turnbull was transformed by a combination of a chemical explosion and a reptile-based super-soldier serum into a half-man half-reptile creature with a tortoise shell, crocodile jaws, iguana tail, and a bad attitude. Back in the dorm, Bobby got ready for his blind date and his date appeared: A beautiful girl with brown hair. Who is she? Find out next!

Chapter 3: Reptile Attack, Part 1!

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(Cleveland, Ohio)

"My name is Joan. Joan Frehley." The girl replied.

"Oh yeah!" Bobby smiled. "From my Accounting 101 class."

"Yeah, that's me." Joan grinned. "Jubilee and Wendy said you were looking for a date."

"Well, I wasn't told I needed a date." Bobby chuckled shyly.

"Oh yeah." A snickering Alex whispered to a snickering Tommy. "Bobby is definitely going to get some tonight." Jubilee glared at the two, then pulled out two cinder blocks from her trenchcoat, smashing them on the brothers' heads.

"**OW!**" The Baines brothers screamed. "**THAT HURT!!**" Joan raised an eyebrow at that.

"Is it always this insane here?" Joan asked.

"Yeah." Bobby shrugged. "The Baineses as well as the rest of the Cavaliers practically _live_ here."

"Well, I see you two have quite a fun night ahead of you!" Jubilee grinned. "Out you go, Bobby! Have fun bye!" She playfully shoved Bobby out and shut the door.

"Hey!" Bobby exclaimed. "What the?!" Joan laughed. "Sorry Joan. I haven't really planned anything. This whole thing was kind of sprung on me."

"No problem." Joan smiled. "Let's just go to the pizzeria or something. No pressure." The two walked down the hall. "You heard about Kid Razor?"

"Yeah, pretty cool huh?" Bobby smiled. Joan shrugged.

"He's alright. Guy has a bit of a big mouth though. I think he has no respect for the heroes that came before him." Joan said. Bobby gulped.

"I think Razor does." Bobby shrugged. "He just acts like that for the cameras. That's what I think."

"He seems like the type who would spit in Cap's face. He's so arrogant. I don't really hate Kid Razor, I'm glad he's our own superhero, but he needs an attitude adjustment."

"Well, he's a rookie compared to guys like Cap and the Thing, he's got all that power, he's young, and he's trying to prove he can be just as great a hero as the big guns like Iron Man and Spidey." Bobby chuckled. What neither Bobby nor Joan noticed were the other Cavaliers peeking out of Bobby's room door.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? If Bobby finds out that we followed him on this date, he'll beat us up." Tommy asked.

"Relax. He won't catch us. He doesn't have superhuman senses, like Logan." Jubilee replied.

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(The sewers underneath Cleveland)

Cleveland's sewer system. Considerably cleaner than New York's. A figure raced through the sewers, mumbling and growling in a guttural voice. It was revealed to be the mutated Dr. Turnbull, whose yellow eyes glowed allowing him to see easier in the darkness.

"Grrr…growl…mumble grrrrrrrr…" The mutated doctor snarled and growled like an animal. He approached two sewer workers.

"Hey Will, you saw that battle at the Cleveland mall, right?" Worker #1 asked.

"Yeah. It was cool!" Worker #2, Will, replied. "Ed, you should've seen it!"

"I did on the tube! I was laid up with a broken leg." Ed replied. "Man, he called one of the X-Men a hermaphrodite. That was cool."

"Yeah, Kid Razor claims in a magazine that he had banged all the female Avengers." Will chuckled.

"Uh-huh." Ed rolled his eyes. He heard a snarl. "You hear that?" The two workers looked around.

"Man I don't like this." Will gulped. He then heard the snarl again, only louder. "Mommy?" The two workers turned around and saw Dr. Turnbull.

"_GrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRROWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL__…_"

"OH  DEAR GOD!!!! **RUN!!!!!!! MAMAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"** The two sewer workers screamed as they ran for their lives. Dr. Turnbull ignored them and scuttled up to the surface. While there, he eyed a certain pizzeria, and one thing ran through the mutated doctor's mind.

_Feed…Feed…Hunger…Feed…Stop hunger…Feed…_

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(Ron's Pizzeria, Cleveland)

"Man, I can't believe we have to hide out back. #%$&! Panel windows…" Tommy grumbled. He, Fingers, Jubilee and Alex were standing outside the pizzeria, leaning against the back wall.

"Oh shut up." Fingers sighed.

"Brilliant idea, fellas." Jubilee grumbled. "The three of you are real geniuses, you know that?"

"I think she's been hanging around that grizzly ol' Canuck for too long." Alex grumbled to Fingers and Tommy, pointing at Jubilee. "**OW!!**" Jubilee socked him with a pipe. Inside, Joan and Bobby were talking over pizza and soda.

"Man, it was one wild day. First, the chemistry lab explodes, then that wacko Randy Unger came back." Joan laughed.

"Yeah, I knew that man was nuts, and was obsessed with the Scarlet Witch, but dang!" Bobby laughed. "I gotta give the man points, though. He was secure enough in his masculinity to wear pink fishnet stockings."

"Mm-hmm." Joan chuckled. "Who would've thought that he'd wear that costume?"

"I don't know." Bobby laughed. They heard screams. "What?" The two leapt up. A figure burst through the wall. It was a roaring mutated Dr. Turnbull. _Oh man, I can't get a break!_

Man, poor Bobby can't get a break! Can he save the day as Kid Razor? What'll Joan think of the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll? Will Jubilee beat up the Baines Brothers some more? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	4. Reptile Attack, Part 2!

Reptile Trouble!

To Wizard1: Yeah, I thought it'd be funny for Bobby to date a woman who liked him wasn't exactly a fan of Razor. She doesn't really **hate** Kid Razor, she thinks the guy should learn to think with his head rather than his mouth.

To Nightw2: Thanks! I'm not the best superhero writer in the world, but I do try. I want to submit Kid Razor to Marvel, but I don't really know how.

**In the last issue of "Reptile Trouble":** Bobby Parkins and Joan Frehley went out on their date to a nice little pizzeria. Meanwhile, the mutated Dr. Gary Turnbull raced through the sewers of Cleveland in a search for food, scaring the heebie-jeebies out of the sewer workers in the process. During the date, Joan revealed that she was not a big fan of Razor. She was glad for Razor being Cleveland's own superhero, but she wishes Kid Razor would quit acting like a cocky egomaniac. Also, Fingers, Tommy, Alex, and Jubilee decided to follow Bobby to see how well he did, and hopefully to get a good laugh.

Chapter 4: Reptile Attack, Part 2!

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(Ron's Pizzeria, Cleveland)

The roaring mutated Dr. Turnbull crashed into the pizzeria, roaring and screaming.

_Oh man, I can't get a break!_ Bobby grumbled as he ran off, his trusty guitar in hand.

"Bobby, where are you going?!" Joan ran behind him.

"Joan, stay here! I'm going to get help!" Bobby hollered as he ran off. Joan sighed.

_What is going on here?_ Joan Frehley wondered. Bobby raced into an alley.

"Okay, time to rock 'n' roll!" Bobby plucked the mystical guitar's strings hard. His body changed under a rainbow glow. Bobby's body became more muscular, his jeans changed into red tights with black-and-white razor blades with matching kneepads. His shoes turned into white boots with black-and-red fringe. His rock t-shirt remained unchanged. A red sleeveless leather jacket appeared, with patches of black-and-white checkerboard on the shoulders. His brown hair grew out and turned into a blond mane, and red, black, and white paint appeared on his face. Over his hands and wrists appeared a pair of white biker gloves as well as a pair of red HBK-esque wristcuffs with red fringe and a black-and-white razor blade on each one. "Whoo! It's good to be back, baby!" Ronnie Rocker appeared.

"Trouble, Razor?"

"Someone lost their pet mutant turtle thing." Razor shrugged. He took to the air with the Power of Rock. He eyed Joan. "Oh Ron, this chick don't like me. I'll just take a second." He landed near her.

"Razor, there's a big reptile thing that oh forget it!" Ronnie groaned. "I'd say that kid's going to be the death of me, but I'm already dead!"

"Hey baby." Kid Razor grinned as he tapped Joan's shoulder. She yelped before she turned around, seeing a grinning Razor.

"Jeez, you scared me!" Joan snapped. "What is your problem?!"

"I'm the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll, baby. I love meeting my fans."

"Well, I'm not really a fan of yours, Blondie." Joan groaned. "You have no respect for anything! You punched out a policeman! (1) You're a damn superhero! You're supposed to be a role model!"

**A/N: (1) Kid Razor punched out Sgt. Polanski in "Birth of a Juke Box Hero"**.

"Babe, I'm a rock star." Razor laughed. "I'm supposed to be a rebellious little pain-in-the-neck-of-everyone-who-meets-him S.O.B. I'm no Captain America, honey. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy a lot and he looks great for a guy technically in his eighties, but he's a relic! Spider-Man is vilified by half of New York, the Fantastic Four are too corporate, the Avengers are too tied to the government. And don't get me started on the X-Men. They got hotties, but the leader's a jerk. I should know! I called him a hermaphrodite in front of all of America!" Razor smirked. "All I'm saying babe, is that the Kid of Rock is a different kind of superhero. I got powers, and my mouth. The Kid of Rock is not afraid to use either or both of them. If he don't like something, he'll say he don't like it, and he'll throw a lot of insults at it. The Kid of Rock knows you got an opinion, and he respects it. The reason why I seem to show no respect is because I'm better than all those other heroes. In powers, in talent and especially…looks." Razor heard screaming thanks to his super-sensitive hearing. "Gotta go, babe. Gotta save Cleveland. Another day in the superhero office." Razor took off. "Man, I should start getting paid for this stuff…" Joan blinked as she saw Razor fly off.

"Man, he's nuts." Joan blinked.

"He may be a cocky egomaniac, but he's really a good kid." The voice of a certain dead glam rocker said. Joan turned around and saw Ronnie's ghost. "Razor's not a bad guy, he's just a little crazy in the head. He's really a good guy, once you get to know him."

"Uhhh…" Joan's eyes rolled into the back of her head as she fainted.

"Hello?"

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(Hellfire Club catacombs, underneath New York)

"Ahh, my patience has paid off." Selene smirked as her crystal ball's fog cleared, revealing the mutated half-man half-reptile Dr. Turnbull, rampaging through the pizzeria. "A genius reduced to a simple animal. This will be fun to watch, indeed."

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(Ron's Pizzeria, Cleveland)

"RAAH!!!" Dr. Turnbull threw around tables and chairs. He smashed his way to the back of the restaurant, and he ripped open the fridge, making the chefs run away screaming.

"Oh dear God! Mommy! Help me!"

"Hey, happy boy!" A familiar voice called. Dr. Turnbull turned around and saw Kid Razor. "Yeesh, you ugly!" The doctor roared and lunged at Razor. With blinding speed, the superhuman rocker blasted the mutated doctor, sending him flying through a wall. Razor watched him get up and prepared another attack.

"**_BON JOVI BOOSTER!!!!_**" Kid Razor roared, slamming into the doctor's gut like an explosive bullet.

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(Josey's Bar, Cleveland)

In the other side of Cleveland, there was a bar. One of the patrons was rather unusual, considering he was a yellow duck chomping a cigar and clad in a cheap suit. His name was Howard the Duck, a Quack Fu master from another dimension where ducks ruled. Thanks to some weird cosmic screw-up, he ended up here in Cleveland.

"Yo Duck! Check this out!" Josey, your typical bartender, said to Howard, who was downing a beer. Josey turned on the tube, and the news showed the brawl between Kid Razor and Dr. Turnbull.

"Wow. So **that's** Kid Razor. I saw him at that Cleveland Mall incident." Howard blinked. "Guy got a big mouth."

"Yeah, he's the new hero in town." Josey replied. "You met him?"

"Nope. Heard about him from the news. Kid packs on the flash and flare."

Well, things are heating up now? Can Razor take down Dr. Turnbull? Will Howard the Duck and Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor ever meet? Do all the other heroes think Kid Razor has a big mouth? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!      


	5. Reptile Attack, Part 3!

**Reptile Trouble!**

**Disclaimer: "Cartoons kick ****$$!" -Eric Cartman, SouthPark (The _only_ thing he's ever said I agree with)**

To Raliena: Well, at this point, Kid Razor doesn't _know_ Selene is watching him. She will reveal herself at some point to him.

To Wizard1: Yeah, Razor does tend to be honest with people. If he doesn't like someone, he will say it, regardless of the consequences. Add on to that the inability to feel fear, and you got quite a volatile cocktail. Razor is a rocker to the core. He'll do what he wants, when he wants. He's a good guy, but let's say when he's not busting bad guys, he tends to drive someone _else_ crazy! Yeah, Selene is at it again. I've read up on Howard the Duck, and I found out he lives in Cleveland, so a team-up is inevitable! Red Witch loves the idea! And I thought it'd be original for a hero to date a woman who likes the real person rather than the super-powered alter ego. BTW, can you guess how Joan got her name?

**In the last issue of "Reptile Trouble":** Kid Razor leapt into action, but before he did, he explained to Joan why he seemed disrespectful. He just wanted to be different from the other heroes in the Marvel Universe and he knows he's just as good, even better, than the others. He then attacked Dr. Turnbull with a Bon Jovi Booster while unknowingly under the watchful eye of the Hellfire Club's Black Queen. Meanwhile, across town, Howard the Duck watched the battle on TV.

Chapter 5: Reptile Attack, Part 3!

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(The Hellfire Club building catacombs, New York City)

"Oh, the battle has begun. Shame this monster doesn't have the power of Xantor. Oh, the devastation during that battle was delicious." Selene smiled joyously as she remembered Kid Razor's first super-villain. "Too bad he got atomized by Kid Razor's guitar. Oh well, if it weren't for that, then I never would've thought the guitar had such mystical power. Let's see what more tricks you have, rockstar."

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(Cleveland Docks)

"He really did that to you?" Briscoe burst out laughing. She and Polanski were driving their car on standard patrol. "Oh, that Kid Razor really knows how to get the better of you."

"That was not funny, Briscoe! Every other cop there _laughed_ at me!" Polanski grumbled. He started taking a sip of his coffee when…

"_POLANSKI!!!__ BRISCOE!!! GET YOUR ARSES OVER TO RON'S PIZZERIA, YOU DUMB MOTHER%#$#!!!!!! **NOW!!!!**"_ The voice of the abusive dispatch yelled suddenly. The shock caused Polanski to spit his coffee everywhere and he ended up dropping his hot coffee all over his lap.

"AAAGH!! That son of a %$#&!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!"

_Why'd that jerk Jones have to be assigned to dispatch? He actually had the nerve to say all I thought about was him naked. I want to **kill** that jerk!_ Briscoe grumbled mentally as she took the radio. Polanski cursed the air blue. "Briscoe here, come in, dispatch. Over."

"We got reports of a monster attack over at Ron's Pizzeria. Nice place for a romantic dinner, eh Briscoe? Rowr."

"They serve great breadsticks and…wait a minute! Shut up Jones! We're on our way, Briscoe out!" Briscoe put the radio back. "I hate that Jones."

"Augh! Next time I see Jones, I'm going to shoot him! I don't care! Internal Affairs can kiss my ass, I am going to **shoot** Jones!" Polanski growled.

"You and me both. We gotta get to Ron's Pizzeria. Monster attack." Briscoe said.

"That means Kid Razor's not far behind. Let's go. I've got to see this." Polanski grumbled as he turned on the sirens and their car raced down the street.

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(The street nearby Ron's Pizzeria)

"C'mon, lizard breath! Let's see what you got!" Kid Razor roared as he sent Dr. Turnbull flying into the wall of a building with a Bon Jovi Booster. Razor landed on his feet, and he noticed Dr. Turnbull's ID card. It had his picture of his human form on it. "Dr. Gary Turnbull, huh? Looks like that name don't really fit you, huh Doc?" He saw Dr. Turnbull come to his feet. "Well, looks like I'll have to call you Dr. Lizard or something." He noticed that Dr. Turnbull had various parts, including crocodile jaws, an iguana tail, and even a tortoise shell. "Nah, not all those animals are lizards. How about…Reptile? Yeah, Dr. Reptile. That's cool!" The newly-named Dr. Reptile snarled as he got to his feet. With a bestial roar, he grabbed a car and pitched it at the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll. "Nice try, pal. VAN _HALEN **HAMMER!!!**_" Razor grabbed his guitar and smashed the car like a sledgehammer. The Power of Rock exploded on contact and sent a car flying.

"Look out!" Polanski screamed. Polanski and Briscoe stopped their squad car quickly and leapt out.

**_CRASH!!!!_**

The car that Dr. Reptile threw and Kid Razor deflected landed on top of the squad car, smashing it.

"Oh boy. Randolph is going to kill us." Briscoe blinked.

"Thanks a lot, Razor!" Polanski yelled up at Razor.

"Not now, Polanski! I'm busy playing with Lizard-Man!" Razor laughed. "Whoa!" He dodged a lamppost. "Do you mind?! I'm taking to someone here! Wait your turn!" Razor snapped at Dr. Reptile. "Hey!" Reptile leapt up with powerful legs, slobbering jaws open. "Sorry pal, I don't like you **that** much!" Razor sidestepped the mutated doctor, and the doctor flipped in midair. He landed on a brick wall, and he clung to it like a spider!

"Whoa!" Briscoe blinked.

"Who does he think he is? Spider-Man?" Razor exclaimed. Ronnie Rocker appeared.

"Like a gecko, Razor." Ronnie chuckled. "Evidently this guy's partially reptilian."

"What are you doing, trying to impress Steve Irwin?!" Razor asked with his smirk in place.

"Jubes, you know this guy from X-Men days?" Fingers shook Jubilee out of her trance. Jubilee glared at the keyboardist.

"You drag me away from seeing my beautiful Razor in action just to ask THAT?!" Jubes glared at Fingers. She then sighed. "No. He's new." Ronnie noticed the Cavaliers and Jubilee. He then disappeared.

"Ronnie, where are you oh, never mind! He's as reliable as a leg man at a Tina Turner concert!" Razor grumbled.

"EEK!!!" Jubes screamed at the sight of the ghostly Ronnie Rocker.

"Who are you and don't kill us!" Fingers exclaimed.

"Ronnie Rocker and no, I have no plans to kill you." Ronnie sighed. "Hey Jubilee, you want to help out Kid Razor?"

"Do I?!" Jubes squealed excitedly.

Well, looks like the pressure cooker is about to boil over! What does Ronnie want Jubes and the Cavaliers with her to do? Can Kid Razor defeat Dr. Reptile? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	6. Reptile Attack, Part 4!

**Reptile Trouble!**

To Red Witch: Yeah, the bad guys all fear a hormone-crazed Jubilee.

**In the last issue of "Reptile Trouble":** Sergeants Amanda Briscoe and Harold Polanski were called in by a loudmouthed dispatch officer, telling him that the mutated Dr. Turnbull was attacking ton and Kid Razor had engaged him. Meanwhile, Kid Razor gave the mutated doctor the name Dr. Reptile as the two altered humans battled it out. Ronnie Rocker saw use in the observing Tommy, Jubilee, and Fingers. As the issue ended, he asked them if they'd like to help Kid Razor.

Chapter 6: Reptile Attack, Part 4!

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(Behind Ron's Pizzeria)

"Do I?!" Jubilee squealed. "Of course I want to help that heavy metal hunk!"

"What do we have to do?" Fingers asked.

"Do you kids know anything about reptiles?" Ronnie asked.

"Yeah…" Tommy scratched his head.

"They're cold-blooded, right?" Jubes blinked. "That means they can't maintain their body temperature."

"Yeah, it does." Ronnie realized. "That means to hopefully slow down Dr. Reptile, we'll have to take him somewhere cold. I'm no Cleveland native, kids. I was a New York boy, born and raised. To stop a reptile this big, we'll need somewhere cold."

"I don't know any places that are cold around here. I haven't been here that long!" Jubilee exclaimed.

"Wait a minute! The Warehouse District!" Fingers snapped his fingers. "That area of town is full of warehouses! I remember this one place that's full of meat, like that scene in Rocky!"

"To keep that meat fresh, they'd have to refrigerate the place. Nice." Ronnie smirked. "Where?"

"The Warehouse District is that way." Fingers pointed east.

"Where's the warehouse?" Ronnie groaned.

"Oh, I know where it is! Fingers took me there one time!" Jubilee told Ronnie the address. Ronnie nodded.

"Thanks, uhm…Jubilee, right?" Ronnie nodded.

"Yep." Jubilee smiled. "Can you get Razor to take me out on a date? _Pleeeeeeeeease?_" Jubilee begged. Ronnie blinked.

"Ah…heh heh…I'll, um…I'll…see what I can do." Ronnie laughed nervously before disappearing. _Man, that girl's crazy!_

"I don't think Razor will want to go out with you Jubilee." Tommy snickered. The Asian-American mutant glared at the drummer. "You're going to beat me senseless, right?" Jubilee smirked evilly.

"I'm going to let you see your own gray matter." She produced a baseball bat from her coat and smacked Tommy in the head with it.

"Hey! OW! That hurt! Seriously!" Tommy yelped. He saw the look in the mutant's eyes that screamed three words: Tommy must die. "Yipe!" Tommy ran off.

"Come back here!" Jubilee screamed, chasing after the screaming drummer.

"Jubilee, put that bat down before you hurt somebody!" Fingers ran after them.

"I'll put it down after I'm through introducing loudmouth here to his brains!"

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(On the other side of the pizzeria) 

"Hey Godzilla, Tokyo's on the other side of the ocean! You're rampaging the wrong city, jerkoff!" Razor catcalled at Dr. Reptile. Dr. Reptile hissed and lunged at Razor. Razor dodged and the doctor's jaws ended up clamping down on a lamppost. With a sickened look on his face, Razor watched Dr. Reptile rip out the lamppost from the ground with one jerk of his neck and bite it in half! "Boy, you've been getting your vitamins! Mama Reptile must be so proud." Reptile snarled at the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll. "Hey, you've gotten to attack, now it's my turn! HAH!!!" Razor blasted the doctor with a Power of Rock beam, sending him into the air. "Oh, if the Avengers could see me now! Ha **ha!!**" Razor laughed. "Too bad they're such government ass-kissers." Razor mused. "Although the Kid of Rock must admit, they've had some great-lookin' chicks on board over the years." Razor chuckled. A screaming Dr. Reptile hit the ground hard with a THUD and a KABOOM!!!! "Oh hi, Doc. You're late for your 6 o' clock appointment…Doc?" Razor peeked down in the hole. "Doc?" He blinked. "Doc? Oh come on, don't tell me you're making like Cyclops and getting all mopey on me…Huh?" He heard snarling coming from the hole. "Doc? Doc? YIPE!!!" Dr. Reptile leapt out of the hole. Evidently, he used his shell to protect himself in the landing. "You have got to be kidding." Razor blinked.

"Razor! I think I may know a way to stop him!" Ronnie appeared.

"Talk to me, Ronnie." Razor replied.

"Razor, he's a reptile. He's cold-blooded. If we can get him to a cold place, it may slow him down."

"We can't exactly go to the North Pole, Ronnie." Razor groaned.

"We won't have to. Follow me, man." Ronnie flew off. Razor flew behind.

"Hey, Gammera! Come and get me!" Razor yelled. Dr. Reptile roared and gave chase by leaping. Polanski and Briscoe watched the whole thing with amazed looks on their faces. Polanski snapped out of it.

"C'mon Briscoe! We have to find out what those two are up to!" Polanski snapped. The two cops jumped in their squad car. However, Polanski accidentally hit his head on the way in. "OW!" He clutched his head. He muttered and cursed as he got into the car.

"Can I drive?" Briscoe asked.

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(A dark room in Cincinnati)

A young man, around 18 years of age, clad in a white t-shirt and jeans, held a soldering iron in his hands. He appeared to be welding something. When he finished, he brushed some of his semi-long brown hair from his face and smiled down at his creation. It was a visor similar to the one used by Cyclops, however, the earlocks were white, and the front was a translucent blue. Attached to the earlocks were a pair of shiny blue metal wings, like the ones on the Flash's costume.

_The first part of my new invention is complete._ The blue-eyed boy smiled. _Don't worry, mom. I'll use the new invention to find the money to treat you. It's amazing what you can build from spare parts in a junkyard. All you need is the imagination and the smarts to pull it off. Once this is completed, I'll be able to save my mother…at the speed of sound._

Well, looks like things are getting interesting! What insanity will happen next? Where is Ronnie taking Razor? Can this spell defeat for Dr. Reptile? And who was that kid? What was up with the visor? What invention was he talking about? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	7. Reptile's Defeat!

**Reptile Trouble!**

To Wizard1: Yeah, Joan's last name came from Ace Frehley. Her first name is courtesy of Joan Jett. Yeah, but Jones would first have to tick off Razor. Oh yeah, and you never reviewed Chapter 6, man! If you did, I think it got eaten.

To Red Witch: That's one of the reasons Razor avoids her like the plague. Here's more for you! BTW, I went to an antique shop and I found a copy of an old GI Joe comic for a buck! Issue #62, October 1987 to be exact. It's the one where Fred VII returns to Cobra as Cobra Commander.

To Aaron: For some warped reason, I could imagine Jubilee constantly beating the Baines Brothers.

**Disclaimer: Do I look like I own any Marvel stuff to you? Just a bunch of comic books.**

Chapter 7: Reptile's Defeat!

**The Skies over ****Cleveland**

"C'mon, ya oversized lizard! Come and get you some!" Razor yelled at Dr. Reptile. The mutated, enraged scientist leapt after him, roaring like the Hulk after landing butt-first on an upright ski pole. "Sheesh, what is this guy's problem?"

"I don't know." Ronnie said sarcastically, while flying ahead of Razor. "It could be that he was turned into a raging animal and now he's got a loudmouthed rockstar yelling insults at him. That could tick off anyone, ya know."

"Ronnie, make like a zipper and close it! Are we there yet?" Razor yelled.

"Almost!" Ronnie looked down. "There it is! Let's go!" Ronnie dived, Razor following.

"This had better work, Ronnie." Razor glared as he dived toward the warehouse Ronnie flew into. Dr. Reptile leapt in front of the warehouse as Razor disappeared into it. The mutated doctor sniffed around and growled as he paced around.

"Okay, now we have to lure him in gently, Razor…" Ronnie whispered.

"Screw that!" Razor hollered. "HEY REPTILE!!!" Dr. Reptile's head perked up. "HEY LIZARDLIPS!!! YOUR MAMA WAS SO DUMB, SHE SAT ON A TV AND WATCHED THE COUCH!!!" Dr. Reptile roared.

"Nice work, Razor! Now you got him mad!" Ronnie snapped.

"Well, it seems freakin' impossible to make Mr. Cold-Blooded **happy!**" Razor snapped back. With an enraged roar, Dr. Reptile burst through the wall of the warehouse. Razor and Ronnie hid by hovering among huge hanging slabs of meat. "Are you sure this'll work?"

"It has to. He's reptilian. He should slow down with the cold temperatures in here." Ronnie said.

"The Kid of Rock is beginning to feel like _he's_ going to slow down with this cold." Razor shivered slightly. "Um, Ronnie…how do you know that a reptile is slowing down?"

"He moves slower and slower, then he goes into hibernation, I think." Ronnie blinked. "Why?"

"Because…" Razor pointed at Dr. Reptile, sniffing around and throwing around meat. "He seems to not mind it."

"Huh? That's weird." Ronnie blinked. "Maybe it's the fact that he was once human, as the tattered clothes indicate."

"So, you're saying that even though he's partially reptile-like, he's still warm-blooded?" Razor groaned.

"Yeah. Warm-blooded animals are better able to maintain their own body temperature despite outside temperatures than cold-blooded creatures are." Ronnie blinked. "So, that means cold is not necessarily going to stop Dr. Reptile."

"Great." Razor growled. He plucked his guitar. "Time to rock, pal." Razor flew out towards the monster. "Hey doc!" Dr. Reptile turned around. "I got a prescription for your scaly arse! VAN _HALEN **HAMMER!!!!!**_" Razor smashed the doctor with his guitar, sending the mutated scientist through another wall and into a truck shell-first. The truck exploded in a bright orange cloud and with a KABOOM!!!!! "Talk about your going out with a BANG! Ha **ha****!!**" Razor laughed. He and Ronnie then saw a familiar shadow emerge from the flames. "How in the world did he survive **THAT?!**"

"That shell must be tougher than steel!" Ronnie blinked. Dr. Reptile stomped slowly towards Razor, then suddenly, a bumper that was sent into the air landed on his head with a CLANG!! With a grunt, the monsterous half-man, half-reptile creature fell on his face, knocked out. "Wow. That was quick."

"All it took was a car bumper to the brain." Razor blinked. "I can't decide whether to laugh or look confused." A squad car raced to the scene. Polanski and Briscoe emerged.

"Kid Razor, what did you do?" Polanski roared.

"I put some reptile on the Barbie, mate." Razor replied in an Australian accent.

"I'll call for the zoo." Briscoe chuckled, walking back to the car. "Oh and Razor, your girlfriend insisted on coming." Ronnie started snickering.

"Girlfriend?" Razor blinked. Jubilee, Fingers, Tommy, and Joan emerged from the car. "Aw **heck** naw!"

"RAZOR!!"

"Briscoe, I am going to kick your butt for this." Razor growled as he ran to save himself from Hurricane Jubilee. Ronnie burst out laughing, despite the fact that only Razor, Joan, and Jubilee could see or hear him.

"Run Razor Run!" Ronnie cat-called.

"Shut up Ronnie!" Razor snapped. "You're luck you're intangible or the Kid of Rock would give you the Homer Simpson treatment!"

"Why do I get the feeling that I am about to be dragged into a madhouse?" Joan asked Sgt. Briscoe.

"Cleveland has become one crazy town since Razor first showed up." Briscoe chuckled.

"Up, up, and I'm gone!" Razor took to the air, leaving Jubilee moaning on the ground.

"Come back here!"

"Oh no! Bobby! He disappeared when that monster showed up!" Joan realized.

"Where was he last?" Polanski asked.

"Near Ron's Pizzeria." Joan replied. She glared at Tommy and Fingers. "Now all I have to kill you clowns for spying on me and Bobby." The two Cavaliers gulped.

"Are we going to get beaten, Tommy?" Fingers gulped.

"Does Jubilee turn into a loony stalker around Kid Razor?" Tommy replied. He turned and saw Jubilee glaring at him. "Hi, Jubes." The two Cavaliers gulped as the girls advanced closer

**Back at Ron's Pizzeria**

Razor flew back to an alley near the pizzeria and changed back into Bobby Parkins. The young guitar player ran to the pizzeria. The squad car returned to the pizzeria, Bobby waving. The girls emerged, Jubilee had a disappointed look on her face.

"I nearly had him…I nearly had him…" The Asian-American mutant moaned.

"Bobby, where have you been?" Joan blinked. "That guitar-playing loudmouth Kid Razor showed up and beat that reptile monster."

"Uhm…I was looking for Kid Razor." Bobby laughed nervously. _Man, why can't I be like Iron Man and have a public identity?_ Bobby blinked when he saw Tommy and Fingers. They looked like they had the snot kicked out of them. "What happened to them?" He asked, taking the opportunity to change the subject.

"They were spying." Joan replied, glaring at the two Cavaliers.

"Anyway, Kid Razor defeated the reptile monster." Polanski groaned. "I got a bad feeling about this."

"If that reptile monster is as tough as he looks, then I got the feeling that he'll be back." Tommy sighed. "Ow." He held his nose. "Oh no, it's bleeding again."

**A cell in the Vault**

Dr. Gary Turnbull, the former scientist now known as Dr. Reptile or simply 'the reptile monster', sulked in his cell.

"Grrrr…grumble…" The creature held his head and growled. "Grrrr…rahhhhhhhuhhhhhhh…uhn…Ohhhhhhh…" The gravelly voice of the monster took on a formal civilized tone. "Uhhhhnh…Finally, I'm back in control." Dr. Reptile looked around. "Well, based on my memories of what happened to me back when I was feral, it looked like I possessed great power. Enough to give that loudmouth Kid Razor a run for his money. Hmm…" Dr. Reptile ran over the battle in his mind. Evidently, the trauma of his transformation had knocked his human half out for a while, causing his beastial half to run amok. Now, his human side revived and took back control. "Hmm…I can use this power after all…what was it that that Kid Razor guy called me? Oh yes…Dr. Reptile. I like it." He smirked evilly.

Well, Kid Razor's newest adventure comes to an end! What insanity will happen down the line? Will Kid Razor and Dr. Reptile meet up again? What was going on over in Cincinnati? Find tout the answers to these and more questions soon! Suggestions needed badly!


End file.
